


Love-struck Before Dawn

by luluyulu



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Getting Together, Long-lasting feelings, Lots of kissing, M/M, Making Out, Pre-Relationship, being in love i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:21:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28851999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luluyulu/pseuds/luluyulu
Summary: Soobin isn't exactly sure how that happens but he hooks his pinky with Yeonjun's when they're halfway through. It's not much, just a simple touch of their fingers but he adores it. It's everything he wants, to always have Yeonjun close to him. For him to touch him in all the possible ways, the soft and the rough ones. He wants Yeonjun to hold his hand, squeeze his fingers. He wishes to feel his soft fingertips sliding against his cheekbone and stray across his whole body. He wants it all.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 13
Kudos: 149





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm back with another fic with rather no angst. As most of the works, I'd posted this was meant to be shorter but once I finally got the hang of where I wanted it to go I couldn't finish any sooner. Honestly, I really like how it turned out and I had a lot of fun while writing it.
> 
> Hope You enjoy <3

It's well past 2 am when Soobin finishes reading a chapter for his next week's lectures. He hasn't been planning on doing that until Sunday evening but since his plans changed, Yeonjun called off their… date, he prompts himself at first but then corrects it in his head almost immediately, their encounter. That's a more neutral word, seems better.

But at the same time, it's no secret to either of them that they like each other. There are butterflies that flutter wildly in Soobin's stomach every time he receives a text from Yeonjun, even something as small as <> or <> with a heart emoji that has Soobin's own, real heart clench. When they are together it feels extraordinary like with no one else. The stolen glances, the not-so-unintentional brushes of their arms, hands when they walk somewhere together and all he wants to do is just lace their fingers and never ever let go. When they sit down and their knees touch and Soobin gets a feeling like sparks are flying all around them.

Soobin's never been in love before, he liked some people, was even heavily fascinated with some of them but this is just so different. He's not sure yet if his feelings for Yeonjun could be it and also it's maybe just a bit too early to be sure of anything, they aren't even dating. But the way he feels towards the other is just how he's always imagined being in love is like.

The way he'd just want to be with him all the time, like every second they could be together but aren't is wasted. It scares him, feeling this kind of clingy already because what if Yeonjun thinks that's too much, that he's too into it already?

That's why he never tries to push, force anything on the other. If Yeonjun says, like he did today, that he can't meet because something came up at work Soobin doesn't make a huge deal of it. Just accepts the situation despite his huge disappointment. Sometimes he wonders if it's really the way he thinks that they share similar feelings, that Yeonjun likes him even half as much as he likes him or did he mistake something? Maybe it's not because of work that Yeonjun can't meet, maybe he just doesn't want to but doesn't mean to be rude. What if he just has more interesting things to do, greater people to meet. Why would he choose to waste his Friday night on just hanging out with Soobin if he'd been invited to at least a few parties that take time at the same time.

It's not that often that Soobin has this kind of thoughts, it's not like he's a huge dump of insecurities that just awaits to fall apart at any given situation. No, but the thing is that he's afraid of not being good, cool, attractive enough for Yeonjun to like him. That's something that's always in the back of his head, like a ball chained to his ankle he just can't get rid of.

He checks his phone after he closes his book and puts it into a pile along with other school materials. There's a message from Beomgyu asking him how the date was, he frowns at the reminder and decides he's just going to tell his friend about it tomorrow over FaceTime. In the thread of his texts to Yeonjun his message sits at the very bottom of his phone screen. <> It reads. Although that's not what he really wanted to say it's better and easier.

He takes a shower trying to be quiet enough not to wake his parents while on his way to the bathroom. The lukewarm water on his skin relaxes his muscles and the sweet aroma of the vanilla body gel calms his senses. It's just what he needed.

He comes back to his room dressed in sweats and a loose T-shirt with Mickey Mouse on it that his nephew gifted him after his school trip to Disney world. It's a bit embarrassing but he only uses it for pyjamas. He forgot socks so the hard wooden floor is freezing cold under his feet making his body squirm from the low temperature every step he takes. The bedroom is warm when he gets inside and he jumps right under the duvet not bothering with his damp hair that now rest around his face on the pillow wetting it.

Soobin doesn't mean to check his phone again to see if Yeonjun has texted him. Really, he can go to sleep without hearing or reading a “goodnight” from him. But he does and… there’s a text from Yeonjun sitting right at the top of the screen. He unlocks the phone too excited even from his perspective. It's just a text he tells himself, he texts you everyday.

His finger swipes on the screen to reveal the message.

From: Yeonjun hyung  
I'm sorry, I didn't have any time to check the phone :’(

It's okay hyung.  
Go to sleep!!! You must be tired.

You aren't asleep yet?  
Why?

Soobin starts typing out a reply but another text comes before he finishes. Yeonjun is way faster at typing than he is.

Can I call you?

Soobin smiles so widely that his cheeks hurt. He scolds himself in his mind but he just can't help it. Those simple words make him feel so nice, excited and warm.

Of course

He picks up fast enough for his parents not to hear the ringtone and wake up. He sits up and turns on the lamp by his bed, so he's more awake. Yeonjun's sweet voice greets him with a simple hi to which he responds with the same. Then there's a moment of silence on the line, he can hear the sound of Yeonjun's car engine, he must've put him on speaker. Even the quiet is nice, Soobin can not see him nor hear yet but he feels so close to him, almost like he can smell his scent, like they're hugging.

“Why are you still up Soobin?” He asks finally, his voice sounding soft and a bit worried.

Soobin rolls his eyes. “I was just doing homework, I thought I might as well since…”

“I'm sorry, really-”

Soobin bites his bottom lip considering what he should say. Another “it's fine” seems appropriate but is it really? It's not fine as in I don't care, it's whatever it's fine as in I understand but I wish I had you here. So he just decides to remain silent and let Yeonjun finish.

“I was about to leave when attorney Kim got to my cubicle and dropped a pile of acts on my desk.” He breathes out deeply and Soobin can tell he really feels bad for calling him off. He probably has a frown on his pretty lips, the plush mouth forming into a pout Soobin's thought so many times about. He shakes his head, it's not the time to daydream now.

“I understand hyung.” He says finally voicing out his real thought. It feels good to just say what he thinks, maybe he should do that more often. Especially with Yeonjun. “Still, it's a shame I couldn't see you today… Well, yesterday technically.” He chuckles.

“Ah, Soobin!”

“What?” He asks in a confused voice.

“You can't just say that. I swear I'm literally gonna pull in front of your house like right now.”

Soobin laughs, he totally wouldn't mind although that does seem kind of reckless. It's the middle of the night and Yeonjun's tired, his hair is wet and he's wearing his childish Mickey Mouse T-shirt but if Yeonjun really just did that Soobin would storm down the stairs eager to see him as soon as possible.

“No, don't.” He says instead in a soft manner. There's a smile playing on his face that's probably audible over the line, and his cheeks feel hot. “You must be tired, hyung. We can always meet tomorrow.” Yeonjun just hums to that and there's the comfortable silence again. Soobin listens to the distant sound of Yeonjun's breathing, just gloats on it.

“Are you sleepy?”

“Um… not really. I mean I'll probably try to get to bed soon so I don't sleep in too long.” There's a loose thread coming from the seam of his comforter. He pulls on it and then twists it around his finger. “Why?” He asks at last.

“I was just wondering if we could stay on for some more… If you'd want to.”

“Oh-” Soobin can feel his cheeks getting hotter at the request. “O-of course, hyung.”

So they do, from time to time one of them says something. Yeonjun mentions a cafe that was opened close to the law firm he is an extern at. He tells him how it's small and cozy, how they don't use plastic cups but old China ones and if you like it you can take it home with you and that you can give the ones you don't need or like anymore. Yeonjun says that he'd like to take him there because he'd fit into the warmth and cosiness right away and all Soobin can do is agree and just try for his heart not to jump out of his chest.

About a quarter passes before the other side of the line becomes void of the growling engine. Yeonjun must've reached the parking lot of his apartment complex. They are going to need to hang up soon, Soobin must admit the sleepiness is starting to take a toll on him. He can't stop the yawns escaping his mouth and his eyes are basically closing on their own. He's determined to wait for some more, though.

When Yeonjun speaks again he thinks that it's to say goodnight, having reached his door. “Soobin, are you still there?”

“Hm. Yeah.” He says dragging his palm that is free from holding the phone across his face. Tries to run the sleepiness out of his eyes. “Are you home yet?” He asks but there's no answer. Soobin drags his phone away from his face to check if he didn't hang up by mistake. Seems like Yeonjun should still be there. “Hyung?”

“Not quite.” He says mysteriously to which Soobin pulls his brows in confusion.

“What-”

“Soobin I'm… outside of your house.”

Soobin's mouth falls open, he's sure he's pulling some joke on him but when he gets to his window and pulls the curtains open Yeonjun stands there, propped against his car clear as a day even though it's the middle of the night. He can't quite believe. He just stands there shaking his head left and right with Yeonjun looking up at him illuminated by the street lights, their phones still pressed against their cheeks.

“Hyung! I told you to-”

“I know but I warned you.” He smiles brightly and even from the distance it makes sparks fly all around him which make Soobin's knees go weak. “Look, you can tell me to go home and I will but…”

“Just-” Soobin interrupts him and gets away from the window. He browses the pile of clothes lying on the chair in search of something that would keep him warm. “Give me three minutes!”

***

They end up in the park that's close to Soobin's house. They sit by a small pond just on the grass, with arms and thighs pressed together. The night air is chilly but not unpleasant. Soobin's fine wrapped up in his blue hoodie with its hood pulled over his still damp hair. The night is very pretty, no clouds covering the starry sky but the stars aren't what Soobin wants to look at anyway. His sight focuses on Yeonjun, instead. He's looking at the calm water as if hypnotised and Soobin is looking at him, in the same way. He's dressed in a white button up making him look really handsome but Soobin gets worried he might be cold. However when he asks him all he receives is a headshake.

At some point Yeonjun reaches for Soobin's hand and laces their fingers. Soobin freezes for a moment, surprised. His heart starts beating faster but soon he relaxes into the touch. He looks down to see their tangled palms resting on Yeonjun's thigh. He smiles at the sight, his hand is bigger than Yeonjun's, it covers a lot of his palm but despite that it makes Soobin feel so safe. He likes the contrast of the size and also of their skin with Yeonjun’s being slightly more tanned. Normally it has the colour of liquid honey, looking so sweet and warm but now with the only source of light being the moon it looks almost blue. There are a few rings on Yeonjun's fingers, Soobin thinks they fit him and look great. He can feel the cool metal against his skin.

“Are you cold?” Yeonjun asks with concern. He turns to look at him to find Soobin’s eyes already there, on his face. It makes his cheeks heat up, being caught staring. Yeonjun just gives him a warm smile and squeezes his palm tighter. “Soobin, your hand is freezing.”

Before Soobin can deny that he really isn't cold, Yeonjun reaches for his other hand. He holds them in his and rubs them vigorously to warm them up. Soobin watches as he lifts them up to his lips and he thinks that for a second his heart stops beating because it really seems like Yeonjun's going to kiss them. Disappointment washes all over him when he only blows warm air on them. But it still makes a shiver run up his spine when Yeonjun looks up at him. “Better?”

Soobin nods with his mouth slightly parted, still not over the skinship. Yeonjun gives him a smile so bright that he feels as here, right in the middle of the night suddenly the sun decided to show up in his full glory. Soobin feels his mouth go dry.

“I hope you don't get sick, you shouldn't leave the house with your hair wet.”

“But, I wanted to see you.” He says honestly, looking right into the other’s pretty eyes which light up at those words. Soobin feels proud of himself, he didn't used to be as bold when they'd first met. Voicing his thoughts, giving compliments as well as taking them was such a struggle. He wouldn't say it's easy now, per se but it's definitely gotten better. “Missed you, hyung.” He adds quietly but Yeonjun still hears.

“Ah… Soobin, I missed you too.” He crawls awkwardly so that he sits in front of him, with their hands still joined. He then leans in so that their faces are just inches apart, Soobin's stomach ties in knots from the closeness. The saliva inside his mouth becomes thicker, he can't swallow down the nervousness. It would be just so easy to place a kiss on Yeonjun’s lips. It would take just a tilt of his head but he knows he doesn't have enough courage to do that. He wishes Yeonjun did that instead.

But he doesn't, however he pushes his forehead against Soobin's and honestly is just as exciting as a kiss would be. He can smell the faint fragrance of his body wash, the one that smells like strawberries and kiwi. It fits him so well. Soobin feels embraced by the smell, the feeling of having the other so close, just everything that is Yeonjun. It's just the two of them cocooned from the rest of the world, in the middle of nothing. Floating in space among the shining stars.

“You know…” Yeonjun starts but doesn't move at all. His words make his breath hit against Soobin's lips and he swears it's getting almost too much but he never wants it to stop. He hums to encourage Yeonjun to continue speaking. “You are the best part of my day, each and every of them.”

Soobin feels his heart grow inside his chest, so big like it's about to explode. He realises a shuddering breath against Yeonjun's lips and he's well aware the other feels that. What should he respond to that, he doesn't know. His mind feels hazy, overwhelmed with Yeonjun's words. It means so much to him, just to hear those words from Yeonjun because it's mutual. Being with Yeonjun or even just talking to him over the phone, texting is when Soobin feels the happiest. He loves every second spent with him. When he tells him about a case he was helping with at work or about a pigeon that likes to sit on his apartment balcony’s railing.

He doesn't know what to respond so he keeps quiet but squeezes Yeonjun's palms really really tightly and hopes that it's better than words, hopes that Yeonjun knows how he makes him feel. From the way he clutches Soobin’s fingers back it seems that he does.

…

They drive onto the street where Soobin lives already at dawn, when the sun isn't high up in the sky yet but it casts orange glow on the pavement in front of them. The air is hazy, dense with the morning fog.

Yeonjun twists the key in the ignition, putting the engine to rest and for a second only silence surrounds them. Soobin knows he has to go but he really doesn't want to. If they could just stay together for a little more, he wishes he could feel the warmth of Yeonjun's hand against his own again and Yeonjun's minty breath against his skin. He wants the white fog to surround them, isolate them from the rest of the world. Just cover them like a soft, white blanket.

But it's almost 5 a.m. and neither he nor Yeonjun had any sleep and the more rational side of him knows that it's time to go. So he unbuckles his seatbelt breaking the silence and then turns to Yeonjun only to find him doing the same. Confusion paints on his face making his brows twitch and he looks at the other questioning his actions but Yeonjun just smiles at him and says.

“I'm gonna walk you home.”

Soobin chuckles, this is ridiculous.

This is so sweet and he knows that he's just so head over heels for him, there's no way he could change that now no matter how much he'd want to.

“You don't have to, hyung. It's just a few steps.”

“Yeah, exactly so no problem huh?”

Just like that he opens the door and gets outside with Soobin following shortly after. They make their way across the cozy street with their arms brushing and Soobin isn't exactly sure how that happens but he hooks his pinky with Yeonjun's when they're halfway through. It's not much, just a simple touch of their fingers but he adores it. It's everything he wants, to always have Yeonjun close to him. For him to touch him in all the possible ways, the soft and the rough ones. He wants Yeonjun to hold his hand, squeeze his fingers. He wishes to feel his soft fingertips sliding against his cheekbone and stray across his whole body. He wants it all.

“So… I'll be going I guess.” Soobin states awkwardly. They are now standing face to face but their pinkies are still tangled. He looks down just to enjoy the sight of it. Yeonjun must notice that, or maybe he was looking in that direction already because he lightly tugs at their hands and brings Soobin closer. Soobin looks up and sees Yeonjun smiling softly and warmly at him. He grins too, slightly abashed with his dimples showing and his cheeks round and pink. “Thanks for today.”

“Ah, come on… I took you out in the middle of the night to an empty park. Not the best date I think.”

Date

Soobin supposes it was, just like every other of their encounters. He thinks it's not about what you do but about who you are with that slightly shifts the nature of the meeting. He could be in the most romantic setting there is to imagine but if it was with anyone other than Yeonjun it wouldn't feel like anything special and would lose with playing on Yeonjun's switch while nestled on the couch in his tiny apartment while he puts his feet into Soobin's lap.

Soobin shakes his head slightly, he pulls Yeonjun closer and loops his hands behind the other’s back, closing his body in a warm, tight hug. It takes Yeonjun by surprise at first but he quickly adjusts his hands on Soobin's back, also embracing him. Soobin inhales the fruity smell from Yeonjun's neck for the second time this evening? Morning?

“I've been to worse.” He says jokingly which makes Yeonjun chuckle. The sound goes right into his ear and just hearing it makes Soobin happy. “I really need to go.” Soobin whispers then but he doesn't move an inch.

Yeonjun hums in agreement, also not changing his position, squeezing Soobin's slightly bigger body even tighter instead. “Yeah, your mum still likes me. I wouldn't want it to change when she discovers I kind of kidnapped you.” Now it's Soobin's turn to laugh, it's a bit too loud for this hour so he tries to muffle it into Yeonjun's skin.

“I was pretty willing, tho.” Soobin pulls back but only slightly so that he can look at Yeonjun. They're close like they were in the park except now he can see him better in the morning glow.

Yeonjun pouts his lips slightly, seemingly deep in thought and it actually catches Soobin's breath in his throat because his lips are so plush and they look just so shiny and soft he bets they would feel like heaven against his own. Soobin wants to wet his lips but his mouth goes completely dry. He just can't look away, he stands there not moving as if he was enchanted, which maybe he is, staring at Yeonjun's lips.

Something shifts, the air around them becomes heavier, hotter, hazier. If Soobin looked up he'd see Yeonjun's eyes straying across his features, his sleepy eyes, small nose and pouty lips. He can not though, being too focused on the way his Adam's apple bobs when he swallows down. He sees Yeonjun's shoulders slightly rising when he takes a breath. Then his mouth opens, his tongue runs across his lower lip before his lips start moving again.

Soobin doesn't quite catch these words.

“Wha-” he starts but his voice comes out raspy, he clears his throat. “What did you say?” He finally brings himself to disconnect his eyes from Yeonjun's mouth. Soobin looks up to meet his eyes which are staring at him so intensively… It makes Soobin feel small, overwhelmed but he can't bring himself to look away, doesn't want to.

“Stockholm syndrome…” Yeonjun repeats in a small voice that sounds almost like a whisper. It feels magnetic, the way Soobin's face gravitates towards Yeonjun's face, gets closer and closer until he feels his breath against his lips and then there's no space left between them at all.

Soobin isn't sure who closes the distance between their lips, all he knows is that he's happy it happened. His eyes fall closed naturally as he loses himself in the feeling of Yeonjun kissing him. All the times he'd imagined what it would be like to kiss Yeonjun, how his lips would feel against his own, he knew it would feel good but this… it feels like heaven. The way Yeonjun's lips are so plump and soft as they slide against Soobin's, they taste like honey from his lip balm. Soobin tightens his arms around Yeonjun's neck wanting to bring him closer, have more of him. He just wishes this would never end.

Yeonjun's warm palms slide up his back and then one of them cradles Soobin's round and hot cheek to slightly tilt his head. Soobin complies easily, nuzzles further into Yeonjun's fingers. When Yeonjun lightly nips at his lower lip and slides his tongue across his bottom lip, Soobin doesn't hesitate to crack his mouth open. Then it only gets better. With Yeonjun’s tongue softly caressing the roof of his mouth and all he can do is surrender. Soobin tries to keep up with Yeonjun's movements but he feels just so overwhelmed in the best way possible that all he does is give back little licks.

The kiss lasts for what feels like forever, still it only ends when they run out of air in their lungs. Soobin doesn't let go of Yeonjun's body, holding him near. Yeonjun presses his forehead against Soobin's just breathing him in. When he cradles Soobin's face with both of his hands this time Soobin can't help but let out a shaky breath.

He wants to kiss him again.

Surmounting his shyness he leans his and pecks Yeonjun's lips once, twice… again and again until following the last peck his head is kept in place and then they are kissing again. It's even better, deeper and so much more intense. This was inevitable, Soobin has always thought that, with the way he always felt butterflies waking up in his stomach every time he saw Yeonjun and how the other always looked at him in this particular way. With soft and sparkling eyes that made Soobin hear “I adore you” inside his head, spoke in Yeonjun's sweet voice that was only his imagination but still felt extremely real.

He's waited long for that moment, it's been more than a year since he first felt that he wanted to be more than Yeonjun's friend. But that's okay, there's no resentment inside him, no regretful thoughts about wasting time. Because yes, they could've just got over with it within a month. Their friends were making bets on when they will finally start dating officially. Not once had Soobin heard things like “You like him and he likes you, hyung. What's not clicking?” from Beomgyu.

He only shook his head in response and smiled at him. “Why rush things, though? If it's meant to be then it's going to happen. Sooner or later.”

Beomgyu laughed. “So you want some star-crossed lover shit, hyung. A modern fairytale, hm?”

Soobin felt his whole face heating up. He reached across the cafe table and flicked his fingers on Beomgyu's forehead. “Shut up.” He said but still wasn't able to hide his dimpled smile.

So maybe today was the day, when the stars that shined so prettily above them in the park aligned for them. Maybe that's why they ended up in each other's arms with their lips joined, pulling closer and kissing deeper. Their first kiss doesn't happen after some fancy date, isn't preceded with a heartfelt confession but Soobin doesn't think it's really needed because the truth is that he’s always known, they have always known they were it for each other.

At least for now because what the future brings is unknown, but it's okay to just live in the moment.

What counts is now and the current now is perfect, dreamlike. With Yeonjun's hands on his body, the touch is so familiar and yet so new. Gentle caressing on his cheekbone and slender fingers holding onto his shoulder. Like he can't let go, and that's okay because Soobin can't either, doesn't want to… ever, now that he has it.

But eventually he's got no other choice, when there's no air left in his lungs he pulls away from Yeonjun's. He tries to breathe in deeply, but it's a great struggle to find his breath again. Yeonjun can see that, he lets out a small chuckle. It's not mocking but rather adoring. He runs his palms up and down Soobin's back, along his shoulder blades delicately, in a calming manner. They still linger in the warm hold, keeping each other close. Soobin hides his nose in Yeonjun's neck, both to calm his nerves and hide his hot, red cheeks.

“I really should go…” He states hopelessly with his voice weak and genuine sadness to it. Still, he makes no effort to change their position.

“Just a little longer, please.” As those words leave his mouth his hold around Soobin becomes even firmer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the smut part.

After the kiss there's none of that famous awkward silence between them. They exchange more than a few texts and Soobin even calls him on Sunday evening. It's so extremely normal. Yeonjun tells him about a case he's helping with, using many law-related words that Soobin doesn't really get but that's alright, he doesn't mind at all. He's happy to be the person Yeonjun shares his daily life with, the one he trusts and needs. In turn Soobin tells him about a cat he was grooming and how his legs were extremely short which made him look adorable. When he sends him a pic he snapped while the pet was still wet to which Yeonjun coos and then laughs brightly.

The whole week goes by like that, pretty calm and uneventful. Soobin wants to spend time with Yeonjun so he tells him as much. And Yeonjun replies with a simple _me too._ And that's also usual, just like always it makes Soobin’s heart flutter and a wave of heat wash all over him. 

They set up on Friday with the rest of their friends to join since it's one of not many times all five of them are free from school and work. Soobin's excited, buzzing to see his friends and spend time with them. He wants to see Yeonjun, hug him, smell his shower gel and perfumes again. Hold him close so that he feels his warm body against his own, breathing steadily and his soft palms massaging his back. He wants to hold his hand, lace their fingers and don't let go. Draw circles with his thumb on Yeonjun's skin. He wants to…

Well, he guesses that's the only new thing. He wants to kiss Yeonjun again because denying that he's been thinking about it everyday since it had happened would be a big lie. On the other hand it's not that much of a novelty. The difference is that now he's not chasing after an idea, a thing he made up in his mind but something real he went through and experienced. How could he not miss something as unforgettable as their kiss.

Friday comes quickly, it seems like life just decides to skip the busy week and then, very abruptly freeze the time just as Soobin stands outside of Yeonjun's door with his hand hovering over the bell but not pushing it yet.

Suddenly he's nervous, out of nowhere he has no idea how he should act around Yeonjun. He opens the door and what then? Does he do nothing, does he say hi, hug him or give him a chaste kiss because that's what he hasn't been able to stop thinking about. He feels his heart thundering inside his chest, so loud he swears he can hear it. The hall becomes extremely stuffy and cramped like it's about to gulf him.

Soobin breathes deeply trying to calm down, he tries to tell himself it's nothing, it's nothing those are your best friends, you know them well. It doesn't really work though. In fact it only makes it worse… Right friends, they don't know anything happened between them. Should they pretend it didn't happen until they sort things out between the two of them… Sort things out, what does that mean? Do they just start dating now? Does Yeonjun even want that, Soobin knows he likes him but that doesn't necessarily mean that-

“Soobin hyung?” He turns his head quickly to see Taehyun making his way up the stairs.

“Hi.” He says and smiles awkwardly. Soon Taehyun stands right next to him, a bit out of breath thanks to the climbing to the 3rd floor. He gives Soobin one of his bright smiles and a hug that ends a bit too son for Soobin's liking.

“Why aren't you coming in?” He asks then. 

Soobin scratches his nape awkwardly not really sure what he should answer. Luck must be on his side… or maybe not because Taehyun just lets go of the topic and rings the bell with no hesitation. Soobin breathes in deeply, bracing himself to see Yeonjun and tries not to overthink it again. They wait a few seconds until there are steps audible on the other side of the door, and a giggly voice that gets louder screaming something which means Huening or Beomgyu must've already arrived.

The door opens to reveal a very smiley Yeonjun, his eyes get even happier when he sees them. “Hey! Get in, come on. Gyu and Kai are here already, we’ve ordered chicken.” He babbles while they stumble inside, Soobin can hear Kai’s shrieking laughter along with Beomgyu’s deeper one. Soobin closes the door behind them and when the locks lets out a beep sound the two who stayed on the couch are already calling for them. They aren't even able too take off their shoes fully when Beomgyu storms into the hall and throws himself right onto Taehyun's smaller frame. At first it surprises him, his eyes get wide and he just stands there with one of his converse still on his feet. Soobin chuckles seeing them which seems to unfreeze Taehyun who then squeezes Beomgyu back. Then it's Kai who drags them both into the living room leaving the two oldest on their own.

Soobin puts his denim jacket on the hanger, and maybe it takes him a bit longer than it should. He turns on his heel to see Yeonjun’s warm eyes on him, he swears he can see them sparkle. It only gets brighter when Yeonjun gets closer to him. Now Soobin is hyper aware of his presence, of his gaze on him, his smell and soon his touch when Yeonjun's palms land on his waist. Soobin’s hands automatically rise to Yeonjun's shoulders, wanting to pull him closer. 

But Yeonjun is first to do that, he leans in and pecks Soobin's lips sweetly. “Hey.” He says right after, this time quieter and only for Soobin to hear. Soobin knows he's staring dumbfounded, his mouth is hanging open. He hopes it doesn't make him look as stupid as he imagines.

The dim light makes Yeonjun's skin glow in a shade of gold and his brown hair look so soft, like silk. He just looks so pretty, Soobin feels his knees go weak under him. The lack of response must alarm Yeonjun, maybe he thinks that Soobin minded the kiss because he tries to take his hands away from his body. Soobin reaches to stop him quickly enough to keep them on his back.

“Guys are you coming or not?” Beomgyu shouts, distracting Yeonjun, he turns his head to the side looking in the direction of the living room, then quickly at Soobin and back to the room as if checking if no one saw them. 

“Yeah, we a-”

“Just a second!” Soobin shouts back. When Yeonjun looks back at him he doesn't waste anymore time and just pulls him back in. Now Soobin gets to enjoy the kiss more, it's just as short, a press of their lips but now he's more focused. He loves the softness of Yeonjun's lips and the way his breath quickens even if it's only for a few seconds before they are being called for again by an impatient Beomgyu.

***

Beomgyu, Kai and Taehyun leave just before the clock on the gray wall of Yeonjun's apartment shows midnight with its green digits. Beomgyu offers Soobin a ride home, now that he's got the driving license he's been flexing it left and right. Especially when his dad lets him borrow the sleek black Volvo he owns. He asks him while they're still sitting on the sofa, Soobin wants to deny but before he even can Yeonjun clutches his palm tightly where it lays between them on the soft padding. His lips twist into a smile at his action, he looks down at the space where their palms lay and the sight of them makes his stomach flutter. He turns his hand around and laces their fingers. Yeonjun in turn holds onto Soobin's hand, while his full cheeks rise as he smiles brightly.

Beomgyu only scoffs. 

The door closes behind them with a soft click when Soobin pushes it with his back and faces Yeonjun. He leans against the wooden surface and takes a deep breath, awaiting in anticipation what is going to happen next. Here they are alone again, just the two of them. With Yeonjun's beautiful, deep eyes glued to Soobin's frame. His gaze makes shivers run down his spine and his heart flutters. But it's not the nerves anymore. It's excitement.

Soobin yearns to touch Yeonjun again. He reaches his hand forward which Yeonjun accepts. He holds his hand once again tonight, it still makes warmth spread down his cheeks and neck. Yeonjun's palm is a bit cold right now, but Soobin likes it. It's a pleasant contrast against his more heated skin. Yeonjun threads their fingers and Soobin can't help but smile. He tugs at his hand lightly and that's how Yeonjun ends up right in front of him, with their faces only a hot breath away from one another. 

Soobin feels comfortable, it's easy enough to just close the gap between them. So he kisses Yeonjun for the second time, making it their third kiss this evening. It starts off softly with Soobin's lips pecking Yeonjun. Then he pulls Soobin closer, he lets go of his hand and instead hooks his wrists around the other’s neck. He deepens the kiss, his lips slide against Soobin's, in a slow and peaceful manner which is awfully similar to the kiss they shared on the porch not that long ago. Soobin smiles at the memory that's still fresh in his mind. His own hands embrace Yeonjun's slightly smaller body tightly, he rests his palms against his shoulder blades. Soobin feels him slightly waver at the touch.

Desperately not wanting to stop Soobin struggles to take air into his lungs again. The air he inhaled makes his breath shudder in search for more. He can feel Yeonjun pulling away from the kiss to Soobin's great dismay. But it's nice to be able to take a deep breath again. His eyes stay closed for a few more seconds. Yeonjun is still close to him, he can feel his touch, his smell and his soft gaze on him. Yeonjun slides his palms down to Soobin's full cheeks. He cradles his face, his fingers petting his cheeks softly with his thumbs. Soobin slowly opens his eyes to see Yeonjun studying his face up close. His eyes are so warm, Soobin feels like he could melt under his gaze. He feels heat rising up to his cheeks, radiating right from his chest. 

He squeezes Yeonjun tighter in his arms, pulls him closer. And when he looks in his eyes, it may seem too sudden, maybe even foolish, but he feels in love. He sees his reflection in the deep, dark pupils and the feeling it gives him is incomparable to anything else. And that's an unusual feeling that despite that is so usual when it comes to Yeonjun. So what else could it be if not love?

When, just like right now, he feels as if time doesn't exist anymore while they stand here just looking at each other. A silent conversation between them. There's just the two of them and nothing else, because for Soobin nothing else exists when he's with Yeonjun. He's the center point of Soobin's world, he's been since he first saw him in that god awful library where all the books are musty and old with their pages falling apart. There, for the first time everything in Soobin's vision became blurry with a stunning boy being all he could focus on. And that never changed. 

He sets his palms on top of Yeonjun's that still rest on his cheeks. He presses them firmer against his skin, just to feel it, just to make sure it's all real. He turns his head to the side slightly and kisses the inside of Yeonjun's hand once, twice and a couple more times. Yeonjun's eyes are glued to him the whole time, looking at him with such longing like he also can't quite believe it's happening. It makes Soobin's heart ache. 

So he pulls him in and kisses it away. He holds him firmly, latching onto his body as if afraid he's going to disappear if he doesn’t. Soobin kisses Yeonjun harder and more confidently than before. He bites on his lower lip and pulls on it then sucks on in lightly. They are extremely close, so that their noses squish against each other. Yeonjun's hands still rest on the sides of his face while his own travel to Yeonjun's hair. He first threads his fingers through the soft locks and then halts at his nape. He tangles the longer strands around his fingers and pulls on them lightly. A startled noise that comes out of Yeonjun's throat that is somewhere between a moan and a whine tells him that the other likes it a lot. Soobin smiles through the kiss.

Yeonjun swiftly slides his tongue through Soobin's parted lips, it's warm and soft against the roof of his mouth. He loves the feeling, so much that he can't help but whine right into Yeonjun's open mouth. Soobin doesn't stop the kiss, their lips and tongues slide together slowly and peacefully, yet at the same time in a purposeful way. When Yeonjun breaks away from the kiss to find his breath Soobin doesn't waste time and plants kisses against the side of his mouth and then further down, on his sharp jaw and down on his neck. He nuzzles into his skin inhaling his scent, perfume, aftershave and a bit of sweat. The smell overwhelmes him slightly, he drowns in it. It embraces him and makes him feel safe, away from everything that isn't Yeonjun. And he's more than alright with that.

“Fuck… Soobin I-” His hands seem to be faster than his words because before he can finish speaking he pulls Soobin up from his neck. Back to his lips he kisses him again. 

Their kiss, every touch is filled with adoration and desire that he feels with every cell of his body. 

“What is it?” He asks out of breath. He leans his head against Yeonjun's forehead. His panting breaths land right against his rosy skin but he doesn't seem to mind. He runs his nose against Soobin's and then gives him another peck. Soobin can feel Yeonjun's lips stretch into a smile.

Yeonjun chuckles in an awkward manner. “I don't know… I'm just happy you're here. Happy to… “ He hesitates like he's looking for fitting words. Soobin pets his back lightly to encourage him to continue. “I'm happy to be with you like this, finally.” He ads the last word after a longer pause and in a significantly quieter voice. 

This is the first time ever when Soobin regrets dragging it out.

He frowns, looks down to the floor feeling guilty. It's always been obvious for him that he and Yeonjun shared feelings for each other. He knew that one day they were going to cross the line of friendship eventually. He didn't mind waiting, he's always been patient. But Yeonjun is different and somehow that has never crossed his mind before. Soobin has painted a perfect picture in his mind, a romantic scene that the brush had been creating slowly and precisely with long and unrushed strokes. He's been treasuring it for months and waited for it to come true. Now he feels like it's worth nothing.

“I am happy too, hyung.”

Yeonjun doesn't let any more thoughts cloud his mind and when he kisses him again they are all gone. Soobin had lost count of how many times he's been kissed today, even only by this door. Maybe it's been minutes since their friends left, or maybe it's been hours. He doesn't know, he doesn't really care.

He feels Yeonjun pulling away and detangling himself from the firm embrace. Soobin doesn't want to let him go but he successfully takes his hands away off his body. He then holds both of his hands with the inside of his palms up in front of Soobin. He immediately gets the prompt and places his own, bigger palms against the ones that are waiting for him. He slides them together slowly which earns a smile from Yeonjun. Their fingers interlock at the same time that their eyes meet.

“Will you stay the night?”

They've done this countless times but for some reason this just feels different. Like there's a silent implication to those words. Soobin likes it. But at the same time it makes his stomach twist both from nerves and excitement. His heart starts beating faster like it's ready to jump out of his chest any second.

He squeezes Yeonjun's hand and nods his head.

***

There is something so new about the way Yeonjun lightly pushes him onto the bed to sit. Soobin knows this bed well, he had sat on it and even slept in it with Yeonjun countless times but this time it just feels so intimate. With their fingers still tangled and how the don't want to let go of each other. Soobin looks up at Yeonjun from where he's sitting on the plush cover of the bed. Yeonjun is standing in front of him, his thumb traces soft lines against the skin of Soobin's hand.

The instinct thought Soobin gets is to pull Yeonjun right into his lap. But before he's able to win over his shyness to do so Yeonjun gets closer and kisses the top of his head. It startles him in the best way possible and a wide smile spreads on his lips. He stops Yeonjun before he can get away from him and hugs his waist while hiding his face in the soft fabric of Yeonjun's T-shirt. He holds him tightly while the other runs his fingers through his hair.

“Do you wanna shower?” Yeonjun asks softly. When Soobin nods against his stomach he continues. “Okay… I'll go first so the water heats up, alright?”

Soobin nods again but doesn't let go of him which makes Yeonjun chuckle. He drops another kiss to Soobin's head and then to his temple and cheek. Only then he lets him get away.

***

The water is indeed warm, maybe even too hot. When Soobin finishes showering the whole bathroom is enfolded in thick fog. He swipes his palm against the mirror to check his reflection. His hair is damp despite not washing it because it would take too much time that he could be spending in Yeonjun's bedroom, with him, doing all sorts of things that have been on his mind for a long time. He looks into the mirror again, his cheeks are hot and pink and it's probably not from the shower alone. 

He puts on the loose T-shirt Yeonjun gave him as pyjamas. It's a bit big on him since the other’s shoulders are broader. The smell of the flowery fabric softener embraces him and just the thought that it's Yeonjun's shirt on him makes shivers run down his spine. The fabric against his bare skin makes him feel as if it's Yeonjun's hands sliding against his arms, chest, stomach… 

He breathes in shakily and tries to push those thoughts to the back of his head. Rationally, it's too soon for any of that but he can't even count how many times he woke up in the morning extremely aroused from particular dreams. Where Yeonjun would touch him all across his body, his soft hands spreading pleasure wherever they could reach. His plush lips exploring every inch of him and him doing the same in return. 

Soobin braces himself against the small sink. His breath is uneven, on the edge of panting. His hands hold tightly onto the edge of the countertop with his knuckles becoming white from the force of it. He calms himself and then splashes a solid dose of cold water on his face.

It works, well… kind of. 

Back in the bedroom he finds Yeonjun sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed. Soobin chuckles at how awkward he looks. When he hears the door close behind Soobin he abruptly turns his head into his direction and gives him a warm smile. Soobin joins him on the bed, he sits with his legs curling under him. Soobin's glad that the T-shirt he's wearing is long enough to cover his crotch. The room is dark but Soobin can still see Yeonjuns face thanks to the dim moonlight coming from the window. He gets closer to the other’s warm body, it's like there is a magnet between them pulling them closer and closer.

And they kiss again, like it's the most natural thing to do for them. Soobin blindly reaches for Yeonjun's body and finds his chest with his touch. His hand slides up, at first it slow and soft just like the kiss. But the moment Yeonjun's tongue slides into his mouth and his bites his lower lip dragging out a low mewl from Soobin's throat his hand clutches to the shirt Yeonjun is wearing and yanks him closer. Yeonjun just lets himself be pulled and the force of it makes Soobin fall back on his back with the other on top of him. Their lips are still connected in a deep and hungry kiss. 

Soobin can't help but part his legs desperately wanting to be touched in between them. Yeonjun takes the chance and sets himself between Soobin's knees. When he gets this close he's able to feel his growing hard-on. His lips halt for a second but it doesn't take long before his mouth starts moving again. He puts his palm at the front of the shorts he gave him and just keeps it there, the touch is barely there, he doesn't press or squeeze but Soobin feels like his mind is about to explode. He moans right into the other’s mouth and grinds up to get more friction. He desperately tries to pull Yeonjun closer to him, wrinkling the fabric of his T-shirt with his fists. He feels desperate, like he's been deprived of something he needs to live, hungry for Yeonjun.

“Wait… Soobin wait!” Soobin opens his eyes when Yeonjun's lips are no longer on his, a pouty frown on his face. He glances at him with wide eyes wanting him to continue. Yeonjun caresses the side of his waist which is nice but Soobin still misses the heavy feeling of Yeonjun's hand on his shorts. “I uh- isn't it too soon? We shouldn't rush and-”

Yeonjun doesn't get to finish because Soobin abruptly pulls his upper body up to a sitting position. His hand is quick on its way to Yeonjun's sweats and he grips the front of it. Soobin smiles when he finds out that he's also pretty hard. Yeonjun's breath halts and he groans. Soobin lets go and instead takes his face into his hands and tries not to dwell too long on how pretty Yeonjun looks right now, with ruffled hair, sweaty forehead and hot cheeks.

“Tell me, don't you want it? Or you're trying to be decent?” There's no bite to his tone, he's serious despite the smile playing on his lips because he feels like he already knows the answer.

Yeonjun laughs, it makes his cheeks press against Soobin's palms. “I want it, of course I do.”

At that Soobin smiles wider with his dimples full on display now. He lets go of Yeonjuns face and instead pulls him into a hug, he feels his smile against his neck. The turns them around surprising the other when he lands on top of his flatly displayed body. He keeps his weight of his knees and hands that are set on either side of Yeonjun’s head, purposely not letting their bottoms touch yet. 

“Good. I've liked you for more than a year, hyung. How's that too soon?” Soobin slides his fingers against his jaw and then neck. He's getting so turned on just from that, it's kind of embarrassing. Yeonjun wets his lips with his tongue and Soobin takes that as a chance to kiss him again. 

Yeonjun hums. “Yeah, it's not soon at all. It's been too long.”

Soobin is happy to hear that. He sits on Yeonjun's abdomen, just close enough to his dick but leaving him unable to feel his ass against it yet. He knows they're not going to fuck, they wouldn't even have time for that now. But there's still a great number of possibilities, and honestly he'd take anything from Yeonjun.

He settles his palms flat on Yeonjun's chest to support himself. He slowly grinds back right onto the hard dick behind him and his body trembles from pleasure that this simple touch gives him. Yeonjun's hands shoot up to hold his waist and guide his body further down where he wants it. Each movement is better than the previous. Yeonjun's dick settles in between Soobin's ass cheeks and he isn't sure but it seems like there's a wet patch forming on Yeonjun's pants from the precome. His own dick is pressed between them and it feels better than he could've ever imagined. He leans in for a kiss and the change of the angle he's sitting at makes him moan right into Yeonjuns mouth. He doesn't even try to muffle it, just lets the pleasure take over him. He kisses down Yeonjun's neck and sucks on the salty, sweaty skin. He wants to bite him so bad, so that there's a trace of his teeth left on Yeonjun's honey skin along with a purple bruise.

Missing the heavy weight between his cheeks he sits back up and starts moving with more force. Yeonjun's panting once in a while turns into moans and groans the closer he gets to his release. Soobin feeds himself on the sight in front of him, he swears Yeonjun steals his breath away. How could he be so stupid and wait for so long to have this, to witness Yeonjun falling apart under him. And it's barely the beginning of what they could do, Soobin hopes that they will do. But now that they're here, now that he has him he knows he won't let go… preferably ever.

“Fuck, you’re so hot you know?” Yeonjun says looking at him from under his half closed eyelids. Soobin whimpers at the words. There’s heat pooling up in the bottom of his stomach and he's chasing it with his hips desperately and Yeonjun's words are like fuel for him. “Even more than I could've imagined.” 

“You- you've thought about this?”

“More than once.”

“Fuck, me too.” Soobin wants to say more, ask Yeonjun exactly what he thought about and when he was doing that. He wants to hear that but speaking is just so hard right now. So instead he focuses back on moving his hips, he starts tracing eight-shapes with his body. And as soon as he does that Yeonjun's back arches off the bed startling Soobin. The moan he lets out is as loud as a scream and goes straight to Soobin's dick. He feels his shorts getting wet.

“Oh my god, don't stop. Just… please, I'm fuck-” He finishes right after that, not getting to finish speaking. Soobin feels the wetness under his ass. His movements don't stop riding Yeonjun through his orgasm and bringing himself closer. Yeonjun's panting heavily under him while he rewards him with pecks to his jaw and neck until Yeonjun regains his consciousness and pulls him to his lips, holding tightly to the hair on his neck. The kiss distracts Soobin from the need to come until Yeonjun's hand is on him, moving eagerly. He hides his face in the crook of his neck.

“You didn't give me any underwear.” He chokes out, his hips are up again chasing after the warm palm. “Was that intentional? Because you wanted to do this?”

Yeonjun's hand halts, he tangles his fingers in his hair and yanks his head away from his neck. When Soobin looks at him his eyes seem so deep and dark he wants to dive into them like into a black hole and never get back up to the surface. But not before he finally makes him come.

“What is it?” He asks in a weak voice, tired from the effort.

Yeobjun pets his cheek. “You're not wearing anything under these shorts?”

“You only gave me these.” He smirks with his dimple popping on his left cheek. Yeonjun sticks his thumb in it and smiles at him.

“To be honest I forgot, but I'm glad.”

“Yeah, me too.” Soobin then gasps when he feels Yeonjun's palms this time land on his ass. The shorts are loose enough for him to slide them under the fabric and so he touches Soobin's bare skin.

“Is this okay?” He asks studying his face for any trace of discomfort but all he finds is pleasure. Soobin looks at him and nods, pushing his ass up to feel more. Yeonjun hums happily and continues massaging the soft flesh. After a while he moves his hand to the front of the shorts once more. He lightly traces its elastic which makes Soobin shiver. “Can I?”

Soobin nods eagerly. “Yeah, please.”

Then, it only takes three pumps of his fist before Soobin comes hard moaning out Yeonjun's name while riding out his high. Meanwhile, Yeonjun runs his fingers through his sweaty hair and pecks his forehead. 

“Good?” Yeonjun asks after a few minutes when Soobin's breathing has calmed down. He's still petting his head and Soobin nuzzles into the touch. His whole weight rests on top of Yeonjun's body and he doesn't feel like moving away anytime soon. He rests his chin against Yeonjun's chest and looks at him. Yeonjun brushes his fringe from his forehead and kisses him quickly.

“Yeah.” Soobin hums into his mouth and deepens the kiss not letting him go.

They're way too tired to shower again so it ends up with Yeonjun sharing wet wipes with him. And it doesn't feel near as awkward as Soobin imagined it could be. It's normal, a thing they have to do. Yeonjun gives him black boxers with no shorts this time. He pulls them on and gets under the covers. Yeonjun turns away from the dresser with another T-shirt in his hand. From the surprise on his face Soobin thinks that the cloth was supposed to be for him. Yeonjun just shakes his head and puts it back into the drawer.

“So that's how it works? You only wear what I give you?”

Soobin laughs, he didn't even think about that. “I guess that's how it is.”

Yeonjun makes him way back to the bed across the small room. He himself is wearing some checked pyjamas with a white T-shirt. But then he takes it off to Soobin's great pleasure. He watches Yeonjun's body muscles flex. when he moves, and he looks like he was sculpted by an artist. Soobin feels his mouth water at his tanned long legs and tight stomach. He regrets they didn't take their clothes off before. It's kind of funny, really how they had sex dressed up but are going to sleep without them. He guesses that's just how they are.

“So if I didn't give you any clothes-” Soobin smacks him where he can reach from his lying position which happens to be his thigh. Yeonjun only snorts at him.

He gets into the bed right next to Soobin and is right away pulled into his embrace. Soobin secures his arms around his waist and nuzzles into his chest. Yeonjun sets his chin on top of Soobin's head and pats his hair.

“Soobin-ah”

“Hm.”

“Earlier you… said you liked me.” He says quietly sounding almost shy which is completely not like him. Soobin's cheeks get hot at the reminder, not because he regrets saying that but because of how that makes him feel. He hums loud and nods his head against Yeonjun's skin.

“Yeah, I did.”

“So um… I just wanted to say that I like you too. Like, a lot.”

“Oh…” Soobin's breath quickens and he can feel his heart flutter mercilessly hard. His lips spread into a wide smile and Yeonjun kisses his dimple making him laugh. “Yeah, you better.” He tries to turn it into a joke but he knows that Yeonjun means it just the way he does. Despite that knowledge he's had for some time now hearing it takes him to cloud nine. 

He hears Yeonjun let out a tiny laugh, he loves that sound. He pecks the skin on Yeonjun's chest right under where his lips are set. He can make out a double breath the other takes in.

“I guess that's how it would work.” Soobin says later on, after they stopped talking, wanting to finally fall asleep. He isn't sure if Yeonjun isn’t asleep yet. It's nothing important anyway. But Yeonjun hums letting him know he's still awake… or at least not fully asleep yet. “With the clothes, I mean.”

Soobin feels Yeonjun's breath on his hair when he snorts. “Nice. I'll test it out next time.”

“Sure.”

The sun is already rising but Soobin can't be bothered by the bright light, hidden in the cozy nook of Yeonjun's body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it, thanks to anyone who read <3


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